Ever feel like you and your spouse are just ships passing in the harbor at night? Sometimes the demands of running a busy household can cause your relationship to be relegated to “navigational communication.”
Honey, could you pick up the boys from practice while I stop by the store for groceries?
Honey, I’ll be at the office late, so can you drop off the girls at their birthday party?
You’re busy. You feel proud you haven’t forgotten any of your drop-offs or pickups. But the unsettling distance seems to be taking a toll on your connection with your husband or wife.
This can lead to one of those messy seasons when you and your spouse have a harder time agreeing on things and making parenting decisions. The effect of this disconnect spills over to the kids and makes for choppy waters.
What to do? I suggest a little weekend getaway without kids for the situation. But what if that weekend trip is months away in the budget, both in terms of time and finances?
How about a three punch reconnect done to head off a marriage emergency?
Let’s try the Stop, Drop, and Roll.
I need some way to remember. How about you?
Stop: When your spouse comes home and you are again in the same space, stop what you are doing. Lay down that newspaper. Turn away from the sink. Turn off the computer.
Walk over to your sweetie intentionally. Make eye contact. Ask about his day. Reach out for a hug.
Drop: Ask your spouse, “Hey honey, can we spend a few minutes praying together?” Then the two of you drop to your knees and talk to God about recent joys in your home and your recent pressures. Recommit your marriage and family to Him. And then ask Him to knit your hearts together in a special way so together you can receive His heart of wisdom.
Roll: Roll toward each other in bed. Busy, tired people can develop a nasty habit of retreating to their own side of the bed for personal space and relaxation.
Sometimes, we don’t mean to, but our physical space and distance becomes cold and even boring. Five minutes of curling up in your spouse’s arms can do amazing things to bring your hearts back into unity.
Remember when you were dating and that warm embrace melted you? After 29 years of marriage, I can testify. It still will….if you let it!
By the way, this is a parenting tip. Your kids need your marriage healed and whole!
Need more ideas? Visit Mommy Head Adventures to read Tara’s Top Ten Ways to Affirm Your Spouse.